NEW YEAR, NEW ME OR A JOURNEY OF SELF DISCOVERY?

Growing up in Nigeria, the new year was a big thing, and many people always have new year resolutions that they often forego before the end of January. Back then, we used to make fun of the fact that we couldn't go through what we had set out at the beginning of the year. I was not big on new year's resolutions because I knew I couldn't keep them. But I always cheer my friends who decide to have one. As I think of the many reasons why people never go through with the resolutions, I realise that it never was a priority in the first place. Secondly, they may not have had people who kept them accountable.

New Year, New Me is a phrase known to so many because some people use it every new year to describe the changes to their lifestyle or dreams and aspirations. It is one week into 2023 already, and throughout the week, I was reflecting on how I have changed through the years. Changes that were unintended and unplanned but that happened due to going through life's journey and maturing.

Over the years, I have learned that there is no new me every year but an evolved version of myself. Evolving is a natural phenomenon. And as we grow, our priorities change, and we have to adjust and make room for the changes. We realise that what used to matter does matter no more. As humans, we naturally evolve as each year goes by, and our dreams and aspirations may change. While many of us focus on big goals, and some people, specifically, make a note of them and actively pursue that, there are people like me who just let it pan out as it wants to. In the past couple of years, when I spoke to my friends and people, the dominant theme of their new year's resolution was to be a better version of themselves.

The key takeaway for me in the process of evolving is;

Realise your self-worth: When we realise our self-worth, we spend more time on people and things that enrich us and cut off things that drain us or sap our energy. Life is what we make of it, and having the right people in our lives shapes who we are.

Be intentional about the friends we keep: My mum once told me, "be friends with everybody but do not let everybody be your friend" that changed my life. Proverbs 12:26 The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray. And I have lived my life with this at the back of my mind, and I am friendly to everyone, particularly those I keep close to me. Proverbs 18:24 One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Life is about giving and receiving. Yes, the bible says it is more blessed to give than to receive, but sometimes when all we do is give and not receive can be exhausting and draining, so you have to find the right balance. Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. You need to have people in your life willing to pour into you, and you need to have people you pour into; it is all about the legacies we leave because these are the people who make life meaningful. People, you do life with selfless people willing to let you into their lives without reservation. Proverbs 27:9 Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.

Knowing when to let go: As part of the evolving process, you have to let go of some friends. We have heard the phrase some people come into your life for a season, and others come and stay for a lifetime, just paraphrasing. Letting them go does not mean we stop loving them instead, we do not invest so much time in the relationship. This is because sometimes, we may feel guilty about letting go of some people, especially when we have done all we can to keep them, and we may think you did not do enough. Or perhaps you are giving up on them too soon when the reality is that if a relationship is meant to last for a lifetime, you do not need to work so hard to keep it. It shouldn't feel like a chore. Hence maturing means knowing when to let things go even though it might hurt, but knowing that protecting yourself and your peace takes precedence, you want to make sure you don't lose yourself while trying to hang on to people who were never meant to be in your life. Because you can only be a better version of yourself when you excuse yourself from a toxic environment, Proverbs 22:24-25, Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.

Most importantly, in self-discovery, let us not forget to go back to the One who created us and gave us life because He knows our end from the beginning; our identity can only be found in Him, and HE alone can order our steps, He knows the plans He has for us, and He will help us make the right decisions. Psalm 139:13-15 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Happy New year, fam, See you in the next post.

Much love.

Victoria