DEMYSTIFYING WORKPLACE RELATIONSHIPS

The conversation about work relationships is not novel, as there have been research and debates into workplace relationships. In the past, the argument has been against workplace relationships, be they friendship or intimate ones. The supporting statement is that your colleagues are not your friend; they want what you have; they do not care about you, are your competitors, and wouldn't mind throwing you under the bus to get ahead or get a promotion. Regarding an intimate relationship, the famous saying is, I see them every day at home; I don't want to share a space with them at the office; I need a break from my partner.

However, in recent times, there has been a shift in this debate. While I can't dispute any of the above arguments, once upon a time, I held the same view of keeping my colleagues at bay and going to work to do my job and get out. Most recently, there has been a shift in my perspective, and it all happened because I took a chance to let go of my fear and inhibitions of the workplace and embrace my colleagues.

For more context, my first ever job in the UK was working for a vast pastry factory in the UK; my friends cautioned me about being too familiar with my colleagues, which I did because I am always careful with the people I allow into my life. I remember vividly the words used; these people know how to smile in your face while stabbing you behind.

T

hese words came to life when somehow, in my excitement, I discussed my future aspirations with one of the managers there, and his words to me were when you get there, I would like to be under your employ. Now that would have seemed like a compliment, but the sarcastic tone in which he said it conveyed what he thought of me and my future and made me realise he never thought I would rise above where I was at the time. But while I was shocked, I did not take it to heart as I chucked it up to his ignorance. You might wonder why I would share this with him, but it was because we had cultivated a form of rapport over time, and I thought he was one of the good ones, but alas, I was wrong. But it taught me to practically keep things to myself and only talk about mundane things with people at work.

But what left me shaken was a colleague that got relieved of her duties because she slept on a night shift. The funny thing is that the job is easy because you technically finish everything you have to do under 2hrs and then do your usual round of the toilets and changing room after each break. Most of the time, there is nothing to do. Hence, I was shocked when I was told someone reported my colleague because she was sleeping. I was like, of all jobs to covet, it is a cleaning job. But that taught me a lesson, smile with everyone while keeping them at bay.

But moving to Australia messed with the ingrained ideology from my experience in the UK. I have been so blessed to have been in teams where my colleagues became some of my good friends. With my first job in Australia, I was blessed to be buddied with a gentleman who became my work husband and close friend. And yes, I told him so much about me and vice versa. I did not feel like I competed with my colleagues at work; I had so much support; even when I had to adjust to accommodate my studies, my managers and colleagues supported me. At first, I thought this was too good to be true, but then I had a similar experience with the second organisation I joined. In fact, with this organisation, I have more friends and close relationships that translate outside the work environment, that we see each other as family.

Why the shift?

Healthy work culture: it is near impossible for an organisation to have a healthy work culture despite all their efforts. I have learnt that teams can have a healthy culture reflecting the manager. With my experience, my managers cultivated developing a relationship with our teammates, and this helped us grow.

Effect of Covid: Conversely, the Covid lockdown brought a heightened sense of community. Having been locked up for years with so many people living alone brought the realisation that we need more people.

Change in generations: Research findings agree millennials value workplace friendships that previous generations, and Gen Z prefer to work in a diverse, inclusive, healthy environment.

Regardless of the factors, I think that the idea that your work colleagues can't be your friend is a myth. Do you need to be careful of what you share and how you conduct yourself with your colleague? Yes. Irrespective of your thoughts, cultivating workplace relationships is like developing relationships outside the workplace. You thread carefully until you are sure the person can be trusted then you give it your all.

Benefits of having workplace relationships.

Makes the work environment bearable: As much as I enjoy my job, there are days I don't feel like working or going to the office. But knowing that I will meet with my friends makes work bearable. I often say that I go to work because of my friends to hang out with them.

Provide intellectual and emotional support: There are times when many changes are. In times like this, we provide each other with emotional support, encouraging and holding each other when things are wrong or discouraged. Especially when dealing with the loss of our loved ones and can't see through the pain.

Professional and Career Development: Cultivating these relationships with colleagues can help with our career progression. We will not work with our colleagues forever as people seek better opportunities. But this also opens opportunities for us because when we are ready for the next move, they can serve as mentors and put a word in for us if required. I remember I was able to get into my current organisation because of the friend I met in the previous one. Managers who have turned friends can also be your mentor.

The truth is it doesn't hurt to be friends with colleagues. If you can make friends with your colleagues says a lot about you as a person.

Christians have been commissioned to go into the world and make disciples. The workplace is part of our world, considering we spend 1/3 of our day at the office. And how can we make disciples if we can't be friends or cultivate a relationship with our colleagues?

While there is no denying that some colleagues may not like you in a team, it doesn't negate how we see and love them. According to Luke 6:27-28 Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

At the end of the day, as Christians, we are the light and the salt of the earth, and we ought the shine the light wherever we find ourselves.

See you in the next episode.

With love,

Victoria