A FATHER’S LOVE

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life. God's love for us did not end with Christ's death, but He continues to demonstrate His love for us daily through the people He has placed in our lives, in our families, and from our fathers. A father's love is not limited to his biological children, but it extends to all those around him.

It's important to recognize that not everyone has had a positive father figure in their lives, whether due to the early death of their father, the absence of a father, or experiencing physical and emotional abuse from their father or other men. I acknowledge these challenging experiences. Nevertheless,

there is hope and comfort in knowing that we all have the ultimate father figure in God. As Psalm 68:5-6 states, "He is a father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, God in his holy dwelling. God places the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing, but the rebellious dwell in a sun-scorched land."

During my childhood, I was fortunate to have my father play an active role in my life. It was in 2016 that I realized my father was a representation of God as our heavenly father. In essence, we are called to be God's ambassador so technically we should reflect His characteristics which is not unexpected, considering that we are made in the image and likeness of God.

We know that God’s characteristics are inexhaustible, these are the few lived experiences of my dad and how God demonstrated His love through my dad.

Provider: We know God is our great provider, and my dad demonstrated this by never hesitating to provide for us. I remember one instance when he was going through financial hardship and I started asking my mum for money, and my dad found out about it. He was hurt and said to me, "Despite what I am going through, if I have to sell all I have and I am left with the shirt on my back, I will do so to provide for all your needs." I remember crying my eyes out just knowing how much my father loved me. Asking my dad why he does all he do for my siblings and I, I know it is a dumb question, but he responded that he does not want us doing nefarious things or looking to other men to provide for us. And isn't that what God does for us, He provides for all of our needs so we do not get distracted and turn to the world for provision.

On several occasions when I was still at the university and I would call my mum for money, my dad was always the one to send the money. I wondered why that was the case and then my mum told me that as soon as my dad heard I was on the phone and needed money, he was already on his way out the door to the bank to make the transfer, but the funny thing is he always sends more than I requested. This reminds me of the bible verse Isaiah 65:24 “I will answer them before they even call to me. While they are still talking about their needs, I will go ahead and answer their prayers! And Ephesians 3:20 Now to Him who can do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us.

Protection: I was raised in an environment where female children were undervalued compared to male children. During Christmas gatherings at my grandfather's house, there were moments of tension. I recall occasions when my father preferred that we stay with my grandmother's family, where we felt more welcomed, rather than at my grandfather's house. At times, due to our proximity to the university where we studied, my father would choose for us to remain there instead of going to our grandfather's house. It was only as I grew older that I understood my father's actions were aimed at safeguarding us from emotional distress, shielding us from discrimination, and sparing us the feeling of being unwanted or left out.

Discipline: My dad was a gentle soul in the literal sense. Despite his tough exterior, he had a soft side like a big teddy bear. This is why he showed great patience towards us, even when we pushed the limits. He embodied the teachings of James 1:19-25, "letting everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for man's anger does not produce the righteousness of God". He laughs a lot and you rarely see him angry. When we misbehave, he gives us lots of grace but of course with the look synonymous with African parent. When we see that look we know that yea, we are almost exceeding our period of grace. However, he understood the importance of discipline, and as the Bible says, "spare the rod and spoil the child," Out of love and a desire for our well-being, he would discipline us on rare occasions. Hebrews 12:6 affirms that "For the Lord disciplines the one he loves and chastises every son whom he receives." Although he was not strict, he often corrected us when we displayed a sense of entitlement or disobeyed clear instructions.

Unconditional Love: While it is one thing to love your children unconditionally, loving individuals who are not your relatives is a different matter altogether. I witnessed my father exemplifying what it truly means to love others regardless of their background. Even street boys were welcomed as his friends, and he treated them with the same respect as anyone else. He would provide employment opportunities at our home, and under the guise of paying them for their service, give them money so they did not feel like they were receiving charity. Without passing judgment or showing discrimination, he always made time for them, listening attentively whenever they visited our store for a chat. He was not just a father to me, but also a father figure to these street boys or individuals society would have frowned upon due to their struggles with addiction or being members of gangs. I recall how they affectionately called him "Papa" when they visited our store, often asking him for money for food, to which he would playfully advise them not to spend it on drugs and they would promise not to. I was always amazed at how easy and comfortable he made people feel.

Generous: My dad was incredibly generous, his love was unconditional and stemmed from the kindness in his heart. He not only gave money but his time and other resources. If there is a need, you better bet that my dad is ready and willing to give, even in the church community. He always prioritized others over himself, exemplified by the time he postponed his medical checkup to drive my sick cousin to the hospital, he stayed back ensuring his well-being before attending to his own health.

I could go on about how amazing my dad was because when I look back on all these experiences I am truly amazed by the selfless and content life he lived. He maintained peaceful relationships with everyone, never engaging in conflict, in fact, I can categorically say he avoided conflict like a plague, and people who encountered him loved him. While my dad was not perfect and had his flaws, but they pale in comparison to all that he was and gave of himself.

So on this Father's Day let's take the time to reflect and appreciate the fathers and men who stepped in and played a father figure in the absence of our biological father.

See you in the next post!

Lots of Love,

Victoria.